Why Some Women are a Complete Pain in the Ass in the Workplace

They lock themselves in the bogs and cry which means the rest of us can't get in.  They wear ridiculous shoes that make them fall down the stairs with alarming frequency.  They spend half the day roaming around the building looking for someone who has got a stash of Nurofen Plus.  The ones that smoke never have a ruddy lighter.  They complain about being bigger than a size six while consuming their own body weight each day in Pickled Onion Monster Munch.  They fiddle with their hair.  They think coming to work in a pair of tights and a sleeveless t-shirt is appropriate dress.  Their contribution to ideas for motivating the workforce include shite like yoga and free fruit.  They take half an hour to reverse into a parking space.  They are always trying to recruit you to "Girl's Only" nights.  They are pissed after two spritzers in the pub and then attempt to play pool.  They make the bogs smell like a tart's handbag on a Friday night.  They avoid work by claiming to be suffering from "issues".  They get cramps.  They get migraines.  They get dandruff.They flirt with the oldest lecherous male members of staff under the delusion it will further their career.  They are always on the scrounge for bloody hand cream.  They laugh at every sexist remark made to them instead of punching the offending bloke in the face.  They go on and on and on about their bloody boyfriends.  Worst of all - they want to be your friend.