Butter on Bacon Sandwiches? Morally Wrong.

Not a bit of Kerrygold in sight

Seen that advert for Danepak bacon where the chap makes a huge bacon sarnie?  I have to leave the room because it makes me feel physically sick.

Butter on a bacon sandwich is morally wrong and I personally find the promotion of such a practice quite offensive.

These are the rules of making bacon sandwiches.

One must use cheap white bread (and I mean the cheaper the better, none of your ciabatta bloody nonsense thank you).

The meat product should be smoked and preferably back bacon.  Streaky is no good as it just disappears.  If you want pancetta go and bloody buy some pancetta.

One should add some sauce, either ketchup or the mysterious 'brown'.

NO BUTTER. 

You have just grilled some very fatty meat and it is swimming in grease.  Why the fuck then are you slapping it on a piece of bread which has already been spread with some dairy product?  It is going to run right up your sleeve, you disgusting article.

Is it a Southern thing?  Is that why when I go into a greasy spoon and I order a "bacon-on-white-no-butter" they stare at me like I just asked for a side order of green snot?

There is nothing worse than someone putting a big mug of tea in front of you and a lovely looking bacon sarnie and you bite into and urrggghhhh...some twat has put butter on it.

However bacon toasties are completely different.  A bacon toastie must have loads of butter on it.  If it isn't running down your chin when you chew it it is substandard.  And one does not add sauce to a toastie - that would be repulsive.

The bacon sandwich/bacon toastie rules drive poor Angus nuts.  10 years he's had to learn but I still have to write it down every Saturday morning.