Imagine this: you're at a junction ready to pull out when a car approaches indicating a desire to turn left. If you glance at the driver and it is female DO NOT PULL OUT. She's had that indicator going since Stoke and it hasn't yet dawned on the stupid bint that green flashing light on her dash or the persistent "tick tick tick" noise is because she's left the bloody indicator on.
Never ever trust an indicating woman on a roundabout either. She's been round it four times and still can't find John Fucking Lewis (it's the big green building love, says JOHN LEWIS in big fucking letters).
A fair number of women drivers (or WDs) like to persist in doing 60mph in the middle lane of any frantically busy motorway. Totally oblivious to anything but the Leona Lewis CD they are listening to, they really have no idea they are holding up half of the county's traffic behind them including an organ transplant courier and several emergency vehicles. These WDs must be anticipating there will be a milk float in the slow lane at some point in the next 150 miles because they aren't going to move over despite you flashing your lights and shouting "MOVE, YOU SLAPPER".
God forbid you get stuck behind a WD on a ramp in a multi storey carpark. That bitch is determined to burn her clutch out before you make it into M&S for a prawn sandwich.
They text their hairdressers while manoevering a tonne of metal at speed. Sweet Jesus.
Mums on school runs:
a. Get a fucking job
b. Those yellow zig zags outside the school gates are not a landing zone.
Of course my sisters and I would never do any of the above. We're Ekky's girls.
Ha! In Ohio, a female judge of my acquaintance was rear-ended by a woman putting on mascara. Really, really, a bad moving violation. I'd like to be excluded from the Bad WD list too - I've no interest in John Lewis, Leona whoever, hairdressers, makeup, or having a child in my car, ever. And you can't do any of that stupid shite whilst driving a Harley Davidson. Hell, just wearing a helmet means you automatically cannot give a crap what your hair looks like.
ReplyDeleteI sat behind some stupid tart last week at the lights while she did her make up. I should have got out and ripped her wing mirrors off.
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