10 Catholic Things You Can't Stop Doing Even Though You No Longer Practice as a Catholic & Deny Being One

1. Bring yourself to eat meat on Ash Wednesday or Good Friday.  You still go out and buy a bit of smoked haddock.
2. Call everyone wearing a dog collar 'Father' - even when you've just been introduced to Ian Paisley.
3. Bless yourself when a hearse drives past. 
4. Bite your lip rather than blurt out "Jesus Christ on a Bike" in front of your mother.
5. Go white with fright if you see a nun in the street.
6. Mutter along with all the "words" when the Sunday morning service on Radio4 is a Catholic mass.  Or - get annoyed when it's not a Catholic mass and the congregation puts in that "extra" bit at the end of Our Father
7. Look for a holy water font when you turf up at a Church of England wedding to bless yourself with.
8. Genuflect as you climb into a pew at above event.  Everyone else thinks you're having a minor stroke.
9. Nod your head if someone else says 'Jesus' and then pretend it's a tic.
10. Hoard rosary beads, Child of Prague figurines, holy water bottles, miraculous medals and palms at the back of a cupboard because if you DARE put them in the bin GOD WILL KNOW and all the ANGELS WILL CRY.