 |
Smoking makes you stupid. Reflecting on my smoking career here are some reasons why I am attempting to give up FAGS.
I have set fire to my hair on numerous occasions.
One of my prized possessions is a Liberty ashtray.
It has been known for me to buy FAGs on my credit card because I'm skint but I need FAGS
When I announce to my colleagues at work that "I'm off to check the spooler in the warehouse" this means I am actually going for a FAG. They must think "the spooler" needs some serious maintenance.
On too many occasions while pissed I have attempted to light a FAG with my USB stick.
I once threw a FAG end out of the car window straight into the face of a passing cyclist.
If I have to toss up between spending the money in my purse on something for lunch or buying FAGS then the FAGS win.
I once served a salad to guests with a FAG end in it.
As soon as I go round to someone else's house they get an ashtray out from under the sink.
I will even smoke outside while it's snowing.
The bleeding obvious - Ekky. Nuff said.
I start on the Champix this weekend. Apparently I am going to feel queasy, have nightmares and possibly have a complete mental breakdown. Got to be better than setting fire to your hair with your USB stick.
I've burned off my eyelashes twice, burned car seats and carpets, gone totally without food for days - just to smoke. I'm not ready to quit. I'm too stressed and it is the only thing that has been the same in my life... for 25 years. Damn, three more years smoking and I'll have smoked for more years than I got to spend with my mother. That's a reality slap right there.
ReplyDelete