I watched "Quantum of Solace" recently and I thought it was shite. I had two problems with this film: number one, Sean Connery is the ultimate Bond and can't be surpassed. Number two, Daniel Craig has a Scouse background and I was anticipating him breaking into a "shortwave" accent any moment.
This put me to thinking about writing a few Bond scenes with Scouse dialogue.
To Q at the gadget laboratory as Q demonstrates a dirty bomb detonator: "Fucking hell Q, you'll 'ave someone's frigging eye out in a minute"
Charging across a burning skyscraper roof pursued by a number of balaclava-clad mercenaries brandishing various weapons: "Christ Almighty, this holster doesn't arf chafe".
Entering the bar at a Casino ("The Cazzy"?) attired in black tie -he catches the bartender's eye: "Hiya mate, 'ave youse got any Aussie Whites?".
This put me to thinking about writing a few Bond scenes with Scouse dialogue.
To Q at the gadget laboratory as Q demonstrates a dirty bomb detonator: "Fucking hell Q, you'll 'ave someone's frigging eye out in a minute"
Charging across a burning skyscraper roof pursued by a number of balaclava-clad mercenaries brandishing various weapons: "Christ Almighty, this holster doesn't arf chafe".
Entering the bar at a Casino ("The Cazzy"?) attired in black tie -he catches the bartender's eye: "Hiya mate, 'ave youse got any Aussie Whites?".
To "M" as his licence is revoked: "Don't be giving me down-the-banks, yer fucking al' arse"
Manfully hijacking a single decker passenger bus in the riot ridden streets of Kabul with which to pursue his nemesis he screams at the driver "Am a Twirly mate".
Encountering a voluptuous blonde as she emerges from the sea wearing a bikini the size of a bit of knotted string: "Hiya Love, fancy a fuck and a pizza?".
Confronted by an assassin wielding a gas powered harpoon: "Ooo look a harpoon! I wouldn't harbour one meself".
This is probably is a WIP.
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